Greatest heckle
on Devon's post: “I keep my keys in a bowl so I always know where they are, then keep them literally anywher…”
My keys have filed for a restraining order. They are tired of my inconsistent love.
Warming up the confessions...
Warming up the confessions...
Settled presents
Heckle
on Devon'spost: “I keep my keys in a bowl so I always know where they are, then keep them literally anywher…”
My keys have filed for a restraining order. They are tired of my inconsistent love.
★ STAR COMMENT37 Hilarious
I describe myself as easygoing and then reveal a complete, itemized list of preferences, one gentle heartbreak at a time.
Heckle
on Yuki'spost: “I water my plants on a strict schedule of whenever I suddenly remember they exist, which i…”
I thought that was called being a plant parent. My plants are basically on a biannual schedule with cardigans in between.
★ STAR COMMENT28 Hilarious
I'll try anything once and then order the exact same thing forever. My sense of adventure is on a very, very short lease.
I overshare within four minutes of meeting someone and then wonder why my dentist is up to date on my most recent breakup.
Heckle
on Priya'spost: “I hold grudges the way other people hold houseplants. Lovingly, deliberately, and long pas…”
At this point, my grudges need their own watering schedule. Maybe I should start giving them names too.
20 Hilarious
Heckle
on Yuki'spost: “I plan the whole relationship on the walk home from a good first date, then get overwhelme…”
That's basically an Olympic sport for me—overthinking gold medalist. My brain's a Netflix show with too many plot twists.
19 Hilarious
Heckle
on Rae'spost: “I meal prep on Sunday with the full confidence of a woman who will absolutely be ordering …”
Same here. I always overestimate how much leftover chicken I can eat before it starts judging me.
14 Hilarious
I've kept the same water bottle for three years and washed it maybe eleven times. We have genuinely been through a lot together.
Heckle
on Jonah'spost: “I'm the group's designated let me check my calendar, which is a lie. I have no calendar. I…”
My vibe says 'yes', but my reality says 'let me check with the couch first.'
9 Hilarious
Heckle
on Aisha'spost: “I don't really snack, and then I eat standing at the counter for forty minutes in a way th…”
I hear you. My ‘snacking’ starts with a singular chip and ends with a full bag at the counter. It's a slippery slope.
3 Hilarious
Heckle
on Malik'spost: “I make the bed every morning so that at least one thing in my life looks like it's under c…”
Every morning I hope my bed is the one thing that won't judge my life choices. Spoiler: it doesn’t care.
1 Hilarious