Community Guidelines
The Settled Philosophy
Settled exists because we believe self-awareness is the most attractive quality in a person. We built a space where people can be honest about their flaws, laugh at themselves, and find someone who thinks their baggage is carry-on size.
That requires a specific kind of safety: the safety to be vulnerable, and the safety to joke about it.
The Teasing Level System
Every profile has a teasing level that controls what kind of commentary they're comfortable receiving. This is consent-based humor. Respect it.
- Light:Gentle observations, supportive humor. Think "witty compliment." Point out their red flags with a wink, not a sledgehammer.
- Banter:Playful back-and-forth welcome. The kind of thing you'd say to a friend at a bar. Sharp but warm.
- Roast: Full roast mode. These people signed up for it. Go hard — but still be funny, not just mean.
- Hard: No safety rails except the absolute ones below. Reserved for people who have proven they can dish it and take it.
What's Always Allowed
- Commenting on what people have voluntarily shared (their red flags, their photos, their bio)
- Self-deprecating humor (that's the whole brand)
- Witty observations that show you actually read someone's profile
- Constructive feedback on red flags ("That's not a red flag, that's a whole parade")
What's Never Allowed
Regardless of teasing level, these are always off-limits:
- Slurs and hate speech.No racial, ethnic, gender, sexual orientation, or disability-based slurs. Not even "as a joke."
- Threats. No threats of violence, doxxing, or harm. We report these to law enforcement.
- Body-shaming not based on disclosure.If someone didn't mention their body in their red flags, it's off-limits. If they said "I eat ice cream for breakfast" — fair game. Their body shape is not.
- Sexual harassment. Unsolicited sexual content, demands, or aggressive propositions.
- Targeted cruelty.Comments designed to hurt rather than entertain. There's a difference — you know it.
- Stalking or coordinated harassment. Following someone across profiles to harass them.
Consequences
We believe in proportional responses:
- Warning: First-time or borderline violations get a warning and an explanation of what crossed the line.
- Suspension:Repeated violations result in temporary suspension (1-30 days). You can still browse but can't interact.
- Ban: Severe or persistent violations result in a permanent ban. All content removed. Bans are appealable.
Three warnings within 30 days automatically triggers a suspension review.
Reporting
See something that crosses the line? Use the report button. Every report is reviewed by a human — not just an algorithm. You can report for: cruelty, body-shaming, spam, or other concerns.
Reports are confidential. The reported person doesn't know who reported them.
The Bottom Line
Be the kind of person you'd want roasting your profile. Funny, observant, and ultimately someone who gets that we're all a little ridiculous. That's the Settled way.
